Wisest self

“I think I can” Then why not? What is holding you back? The problem is that you only think that you can, rather than knowing that you can. You do not know your Self. You do not know your potential. Something goes wrong and the first thing you do is ask a friend for advice and not your Self. Why do you feel more satisfied when someone says “O you look good” or “nice dress”? Why do you depend on your friends to make you happy? Why do you feel intimidated when you see someone “cooler” than you? You just think that whatever your friends say about you is who you are. They are the ones you look up to. If they dress a certain way, you also have to dress the same way. If they listen to a certain type of music, you also have to listen to the same ones. Maybe there is nothing wrong with that. But when you give the most preference to your friends you tend to ignore your Self. You forget to see your perspective.

Okay now let’s define Self. But how? All I can say is Self is you; your consciousness. “The highest fences which you need to climb are the fences which you built in your own mind.” You have built these fences with the definitions that your friends have given you. You must climb these fences and explore the true you. Who are you? What is your true personality? Are you trying to follow someone or are you unique in your own way?

“Have you ever taught, counseled, advised, or comforted another person? Have you responded to a child's question? There's your wisest self, speaking out. Your wisdom will never be perfect. To think so would not be wise.” Elaine Aron, Ph.D (research and clinical psychologist)

Don't think you can. Know you can.

Try to listen to the inner You. I am sure you will be surprised.

Real or Fake smile?

 "In a recent issue of the journal Behavioral and Brain Sciences, they argue that smiles are not simply the expression of an internal feeling. Smiles in fact are only the most visible part of an intimate melding between two minds." Carl Zimmer (New York Times: More to a Smile Than Lips and Teeth). When you smile at someone looking straight into their eyes, (even if they don't know you) they smile right back to you. Why? The answer is pretty simple. When you smile at someone, certain parts (circuits) in your brain are activated. And locking your eyes on the other person will create a similar affect on him/her leading to a smile.

The anatomy of smiling is pretty complex because of the different types of smiles and the different meanings they exhibit. A smile can be fake or it can be real. There are smiles which says that "I am really happy" and smiles that says "I am pretending to be happy." A smile is not what your zygomaticus major disclose. A real smile is from the unconscious part of the brain while the fake one is from the conscious brain (cerebral cortex) according to Dr. Guy Curtis, a specialist in emotions and social behavior. Okay maybe that might be a little confusing. Lets break it down. Imagine your boyfriend/girlfriend just bought you lunch and it is sushi. You hate sushi (YUCK!) but you don't want to admit it. You still smile, you don't show any sign of disgust because you don't want to hurt his/her feelings. In which case you are planning (conscious brain) your emotions leading to a fake smile. Now imagine your loved one just gave you a big surprise. You won't be able to stop smiling. Matter of fact your smiling will turn into tears because you cannot control it. Its from your unconscious mind and you have no means of controlling it. This is a truthful smile.

Fake and real smiles comes from different parts of the brain thus it is also portrayed by different mouth muscles. Lets look at the famous Mona Lisa. In the picture the left side of her mouth tends to curve up a little bit more that her right side. And the left side is associated with the right side of the brain "which tends to be dominant in processing negative emotions and conscious emotions (fake smile) whereas the left hemisphere of the brain seems to be dominant in processing real happiness" Dr. Guy Curtis. Although the validity of this statement is questionable, this example was used only to show how different parts of the brain play key role in determining a real or fake smile.

There might be situations where you have to give a "I am pretending to be happy" smile, but just remember, real smiles give out a positive vibe to the person who is perceiving it. So try to be real. 

A smile comes from the bottoms of one's heart.
That’s the magic of a smile.